VitalAccurateThinking: Carnival of Carbon (Neutrality) 11-Aug-06

Friday, August 11, 2006

Carnival of Carbon (Neutrality) 11-Aug-06

Here is this week's round-up of what I thought was interesting this week:

Carbon Neutral and I didn't Know It

I've been hearing about carbon neutrality for a while, but haven't paid much attention to it, usually because I heard it mentioned in conjunction with Al Gore, who, frankly, could get me to look for a new favorite cigar just by endorsing my present favorite. (Wish I was getting paid by the comma!) Intellectual honesty eventually prompted me to look it up, and it turns out I've been working toward carbon neutrality for years, especially if motive isn't considered.

Confused about Global Warming's effect on the world? These two stories won't help:

Greenland Ice Cap is Melting

According to a new study by a US-based research group team led by Chinese scientist Chen Jianli, Greenland is currently losing 240 cubic kilometers of ice each year since 2004, and the rate of melt is accelerating. The researchers estimated the loss after assessing ice mass changes over Greenland between 2002 and 2005. The study is published in the current issue of the journal Science.

But, "Doubt Cast"

Recent predictions have contained a hopeful note: increased snowfall over the heart of Antarctica in coming decades -- an odd but expected consequence of the warming atmosphere there -- should partially offset the alarmingly fast melting under way at the ice sheet's edges.

Me, I will stick with the journal Science over The Plain Dealer.

In the "declining moral authority department":

[I]f Al Gore is the world's role model for ecology, the planet is doomed.
For someone who says the sky is falling, he does very little. He says he recycles and drives a hybrid. And he claims he uses renewable energy credits to offset the pollution he produces when using a private jet to promote his film. (In reality, Paramount Classics, the film's distributor, pays this.)

Public records reveal that as Gore lectures Americans on excessive consumption, he and his wife Tipper live in two properties: a 10,000-square-foot, 20-room, eight-bathroom home in Nashville, and a 4,000-square-foot home in Arlington, Va. (He also has a third home in Carthage, Tenn.) For someone rallying the planet to pursue a path of extreme personal sacrifice, Gore requires little from himself.

As I have told friends of mine, if you are going to make Global Warming a moral issue, you better have your own house in order. In my view, Gore could use a little lifestyle reduction therapy as well as riding coach from time to time.

And I found two pieces of Global Warming, Carbon Neutral satire, something I am clearly unable to write myself. First, Animals as Carbon Neutral alternative:

A technological breakthrough developed by the Wenatchee, Washington-based startup group Cownetics United Development, Inc. (Nasdaq: CUD) promises to significantly ameliorate the nation's ongoing energy crisis with virtually no negative environmental consequences. The patent-pending Cownetic Turbine converts kinetic energy generated through the natural movements of large animals such as cows, steers and dogs into copious quantities of "totally green" electrical current, potentially serving the power-generating needs of up to 60 million American households, according to a Cownetics spokesman.

Second, who said terrorists don't care about the environment?

Osama Bin Laden today announced that the loose international web of extremist Islamic terror groups had achieved its carbon reduction programme for 2006, an impressive five months ahead of schedule.

Using the grainy, hand-held and amateurish camera work that has become the hallmark of ITN, Mr bin Laden made the dramatic announcement from his top secret HQ at the bottom of the garden of number 5 Hollytree Avenue, High Wycombe.

"Friends, Muslims, and soon-to-be-punished infidels. Today I bring you a message of hope from the heart of the Islamic Revolutionary Potting Shed. In January a formal meeting of the international Extremist Islamic terror council, including representatives from al-Qaeda, Hezbollah and Jemaah Islamiah, promised to achieve carbon neutrality throughout our actions by the turn of the year. And despite protracted use of 'Allah's Fire' rockets in the South of Lebanon in recent weeks, today we have achieved that target."